Everyday Social Control
Examples of Everyday Social Control
hygiene (body/mouth/teeth washing, shaving, using toilet)
do not sleep in on weekdays
wear matching clothes
avoid clothes that “expose too much”
punctuality
“pull up my pants before I sit down”
turn off cell phones
try to appear studious and serious in class
how to address professors
observe turn-taking rules
exercise self-control – don’t “think out loud”
keep commitments, do what you said you will do
know what foods are considered good for you/bad for you
walk dogs on leash
pick up after your dog
healthy lunch consists of four food groups
traffic laws
“love” as conventional
conform to behavior of those around you (they are taking notes, you take notes), don’t stand out
stick to “appropriate” lunch topics
be sociable regardless of your “true” mood
participate in conventional greeting rituals
throw your trash away properly (and recycle)
make enough but not too much noise during sex
buying rather than stealing goods in shop
iron your clothes
wear cosmetics and makeup
not being alone at, say, lunch
get ready for first day of school
say your please and thank yous
know what clothing is cool
queue up and wait in lines
be aware of appropriate life sequencing (go to college at 18, for example)
bite your tongue and be polite to bureaucrats even if they make you mad
kindness to strangers
appropriate relations with ex- when in public situation
respect the privacy of others (don’t look, turn away, don’t eavesdrop)
drink classy beers
proofread paper
dress appropriately for fancy venues
print paper to be handed in on new rather than already printed on one side paper
make small talk
schedules as social control
food and temporal norms (e.g., don’t eat spaghetti before 11 am)
how to divide roles when living with partner
holding doors and “after you…”
be efficient (multi-task when you can, etc.)
sitting politely, posture, etc.
using sex appropriate rest rooms
eating with knife, fork, spoon
pedestrian etiquette
smoking etiquette
making one’s bed
maintaining appropriate thoughts (e.g., acceptable and unacceptable fantasies)
grammar, punctuation, spelling
staying on sidewalks
school as defining what it means to be educated or “cultured”
“underpants” (omitted for reasons of “politeness” or “modesty” or “privacy,” but both the fact that most of us “wouldn’t leave home without it” and the fact that we avoid mentioning it in descriptions of getting dressed (by comparison many folks put on bras or undershirts) suggest some strong norms)
full array of controls of body and self necessary to simply be in co-presence in public (do not look too vacant, do not stare, do not drool, do not fart or belch loudly, take up appropriate amount of space, react to things around you, be “with” people you are with, be attentive in conversations, look people in the face, etc.)